My Part of Our Dance

So I'm listening to my affirmations from www.IAmAnAmazingMom.com one morning.
Later that day one comes back to me...I'm going to love Maija today "in a way that SHE feels loved rather than on my terms."

So I ask her, "Do you want me to paint your nails?"

Her face lights up as she takes a sharp breath in, nodding her head up and down as fast as she can.

After I've painted her toes, I start brushing her hair.

It's so beautiful...can't resist....must braid!

She pulls away a bit and groans.

I keep braiding.

"I don't WANT a braid!" she informs me, "You're gonna have to take it out in a minute."

I braid faster, swiftly clip a barrette in her hair to hold the braid in place and step back a moment to survey my masterpiece.

She starts tugging at it.

"Don't!" I say, "Just Look at it before you take it out."

But she's NOT interested.

I grab her armpits in an attempt to lift her and show her how it looks in the mirror.

She arches her back, slams her eyes shut and groans loudly.

I put her down, completely frustrated that she is acting like a baby, and yell "Go to your room!"

She ran to her room and slammed her door loudly behind her.

While she was in there, I'm thinking "she's SO @*# annoying! What a... brat! I hate how unpredictable she is!!"

Then I had another one of my affirmations zip through my thoughts...it said..."when in conflict, I'm great at looking from the other persons point of view...I recognize that it takes two to tango and I take responsibility for my part of our dance...."

So I did...

I looked from her perspective and that led to another question.

Where else in life do I not listen to somebody's "No" or boundary?

Where else do I keep doing what I want to do ANYWAY, and then get mad at THEM for reacting and being upset with me???

It was a shocking bad news insight.

It made me realize that I had described my daughter as unpredictable,

and withdrawn from HER saying, "SHE just pushes my buttons."

When In reality, I pushed her's first.

I was ready to take responsibility for my part of our dance, so I sat on the stairs where we always sit to resolve conflict, and I called her out of her room.

I pulled her close to me and said, "Maija, I'm sorry I braided your hair when you didn't want me to."

She leaned in and said, "I forgive you."

"And I'm sorry if I scared you when I yelled for you to go to your room," I continued.

"I forgive you," she said again.

At that moment, the "peace place" was created.

She leaned her little forehead forward to touch my forehead, her nose touched my nose, and love was present.

Her expressions of affection that afternoon were abundant.

I am an amazing mom... NOT because I don't make mistakes...but because I apologize quickly when I realize how my actions effect those around me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you're a Mom, watch this short clip:

http://video214.com/play/7Mb3mHLyMr3cDwq0R3CnTA/s/dark

Want to listen to my affirmations? They make a HUGE difference. Go to: www.IAmAnAmazingMom.com and click on the TOPC tab.

Take the "Think On Purpose Challenge" with me and moms all over the world.

1,000,000 Moms by Mother's Day Take the "Think On Purpose Challenge" www.IAmAnAmazingMom.com
,