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"Ty do you want to tell Dad what happened at the park today, or should I?" I ask.

"I want you to," he says.

Note to parents: Your kids LOVE to hear you talk about them!
Especially recounting the tales from the day of how great they are and what they did well.
It builds them up.
They feel acknowledged.
They feel like they're listening in on 'mom and dad conversation', so they feel super special.

Perscription: Practice daily.

Also, this is the only experience of their child that the working parent gets...somebody else's story of the first hand account...so bless dad's socks off and tell him all of the good stuff...make it juicy and fun....it makes him proud and gives him a chance to recognize and praise the kids for their accomplishments throughout the day.

I dive into the story...

So we're at the park. Ty SEEMS to be enjoying himself as he hangs onto the tire swing for dear life, at first....

The older boy with red, spikey hair is riding with Ty and is spinning the tire swing in a tight circle SO fast that I feel sick just watching them spin.

I don't want to hover and ruin the boy adventure, so I climb on the playground for a minute with Maija.

Finally, my mom-ness kicks in and I realize that I need to make a decision for Ty that he can't make for himself, because he doesn't have all of the facts about tire swings.

He's never been on one when somebody has pushed that fast, tight circle before, so he doesn't know how sick he'll feel when he gets off.

"Ty, we're going to head over towards the pool now and I need you to come with us."
Notice how I saved face for him in the moment rather than saying, 'honey, I'm scared and I need you to get off that death machine.'

As the red haired older boy stops the tire swing, it's obvious that the lesson is already sinking in without me having to say anything.
Ty can hardly stand up, he's so dizzy.
He wobbles around as he gets his flip flops on. I catch his arm and slowly walk him away.

When we get out of earshot of the park I ask, "how's your tummy?"
"I feel sick," was all he could say.

So as I'm telling the story to Dad, I add, "Ty learned that it's okay to ask the big kid to stop, so he can get off. He also learned what it feels like to stay on too long when a tire swing is spinning that fast."

Tyler interjects enthusiastically, "why didn't the big kid ask me if I was okay or if it was too fast?"

Dad shoots it straight, "Well, he was being selfish and in his own little world. He wasn't thinking about you and your needs."

At first I thought Dad might be blowing off steam from his work day, but then the lesson from Dad continued and was brilliant.

"That's what I love about you, Ty, you're a leader. Leaders pay attention to what's going on around them. They think about other people and their needs."

"Yeah, if I were that big kid, I would've asked the smaller kid if he liked swinging that fast or not."

"That's great, Ty." Dad praised and then he continued, "Leaders ask questions of people around them. Then they use the feedback to make decisions that work for everybody. You're great at asking questions, Ty. What would you do if you asked another kid if they liked swinging that fast and they said, 'no'?"

I can always count on Dad to take the lesson to another level with a great question.

Ty thinks for a moment and then responds, "I'd ask him if he wanted to do 'tick tock' or 'around the world' so I didn't make the other kid feel sick."

"That's a great idea, Buddy." Dad says, "I'm so proud of you! You ask such good questions and you listen and care for the people around you really well. You're such a great leader."


Okay, I know that there are some of you out there that may object when you hear this story and be thinking, "but I'm not a leader...or my kids not really a leader."

I say, "Yes. YOU ARE!"

You have little people watching your every move to discover how life goes, who to be in the world and down to the detail, they will mirror what you teach them.

Then you may say, "yeah, but, we have enough leaders in the world..."

To which I say, "CLEARLY WE DON'T!!!!!"

Please do me a favor and read this next part out loud.

Did you know that in America, one-third of our kids are obese or overweight.

Three in five adults are obese or overweight.

Because of the obesity epidemic, we now run the risk that kids, for the first time, will have shorter
lifespans than their parents.

This is a public health disaster, and we have to act.

Guess what else...

Every year 15 million children die of hunger.

Read it out loud!

1 in 3 in America are disgustingly obese. While 15 million children DIE a year of hunger.

Don't you think it would help to teach our kids to be leaders that THINK about the effects of their actions on others?

Couldn't we use an example of how to SHARE so that no one has to DIE?

I usually don't think of the squabbles that kids have over sharing as a big deal, but when you put a global perspective on it...IT's A BIG FREAKIN' DEAL!!!

SHARE! Is that so hard?

You're FAT, stop eating so much.

You're dying of starvation. Have some of ours.

Can't we just all get along!